izzo: (Dahlia)
2012-07-24 01:48 am

update-o july

Wow, I haven't blogged in this (public) blog for a while now. What has changed..? not much actually. 
I am deeply considering a career change though, and I am still not sure how that is going to pan out. It's towards science..i suppose one way of doing it is switching from business to science and keeping my LLB just for safekeeping. Universities are awfully bureaucratic, heheh, they don't often accommodate for wacky cases like mine.

The depression was managed for a while..and then it sort of crept up behind when I least expected it (during holiday season -.-). I just feel that my will to die will never leave me, and things like medication, therapy and social support are just delaying the inevitable. There will ALWAYS be something about me that I detest to my core, and I can't see myself ever fully regaining my zest for life.

anyway..onto brighter topics.. pokemon luv is still going strong - especially with the new Black & White 2! Yes, like many I was initially apathetic about it, but playing it now it is a thousand times more enjoyable than the previous iteration. It's everything the first version should have been. And thank god for less N XD I can't be the only one who couldn't care less for that dude. 
I am up to the Pokemon League (didn't even bother dealing with them in Black 1 - the one post game I mean) with my team of:

DRILZ - Lv 65 Excadrill <- best ever
チンポ - Lv 55 Serperior who needs any other starter?
IRON - Lv 49 Magnezone I love this evolution line!
??? - Lv 47 Starmie yeah I was stuck for names 
FYEAH - Lv 35 Braviary LOL but he is surprisingly strong! hence being on the team.
ビショウネン - Lv 47 Lucario - I don't care for Lucario but again, he is strong.

Am I ready? Are my (poke)ballz ready? Hell yeah.

Art wise, I am at least doodling some characters and blahh, can't be bothered to elaborate. =)

I FINALLY spoke to Ocean after...quite literally months. We borked our phones around the same time. He is easing off work when I'm back at school.  We suck at coordination.  
I never thought a person could make me feel so relaxed and peaceful just from the sound of their voice.
izzo: (Default)
2012-05-14 12:27 pm

relief

My appeal for special consideration went through for the law faculty. No questions asked. The most cutthroat faculty accepted with no questions asked. Gahhhhhhhhh I was dreading the outcome but looks like the stars are aligned today.

My law tutor is late though. Waiting for her right now. I doubt she forgot as we booked the room for the month, makes me wonder if there was a legitimate emergency. She was telling me the other day how she was in a coma a few months back, with little hope of awakening, so yeah, it makes you wonder.
izzo: (Default)
2012-05-13 02:56 am
Entry tags:

birthday

I woke up this morning wanting to fuck, but i only had my hand....Prince concert made an otherwise shit day awesome. Tho I still wanted to fuck my boyfriend afterwards ;D prince is not what you listen to when you want to be frigid

Took footage of 80% of the concert, but replaying it looks shakier than I thought.. Idk whether to upload it or not.

So, the concert was awesome. My throat was sore afterwards, so that should give an indication of how great it was. Because of my age, I resent people like my partner who were alive at the peak of the greats. I think most of them are too old or too dead to portray their likeness back then in today's performances, but Prince. The only indication of his age was a slightly worn face, but the showmanship, the energy, the body, the voice was the same as it was 10, 20, 30 years ago. This is the closest I'll ever get to a time machine! Makes me wonder whether MJ's tour would have the same magic as his old school performances, if he was still alive. Prince was overshadowed so hard by Michael Jackson ;_;

It just disappoints me that one year shelf-life garbage like New Directions or whatever get more publicity than music legends. As I said I only realised the concert was on 2 days before, that's how little hype it got! I'm not going to be presumptuous and say that there wasn't any crappy musicians before the 90s, but I feel that nowadays there is a lack of..quality control? And the unfortunate introduction of Autotune. I don't hate electronic music per se, but there is a place for that, mainly in the realm of nightclubs and other niches. Just don't like how much it has permeated into mainstream music and has now REPLACED "real music played by real musicians" as he stated at the concert.. I couldn't agree more. I know those real musicians still exist, but they are confined to underground niches, or don't have the right talent (or talentLESSness?) to be deemed "successful" in the mainstream.

I don't really give a fuck any more. I think apathy is worse than anger..anger implies passion, it implies having a care in the world to change it for the better.
Plus I'm soo tired of pretending to tolerate today's music just to keep friends.
Anyone want to be a old music faggot with me?
izzo: (Default)
2012-05-08 04:27 pm

soc 1

 New colourful default. I can never forget Amy.....

I feel so lost at the moment. Currently alternating between doing an outstanding art piece (very begrudgingly) and my homework, and of course writing in this damn blog, but not extremely focussed on either.

convo w/ arun:

izzo: What eeveelution do you think I am?
arun: Flareon. For sure
izzo: I always thought I was vaporeon, or espeon
arun: no you're definitely a flareon
arun: what you have in common is having good potential, but being ultimately useless
izzo: gee thanks
izzo: I could be a Espeon
arun: You're Flareon
izzo: But I might be an Espeon?
arun: YOU ARE FLAREON
arun: You will learn Flare Blitz one day

I need to buy a new leather jacket for winter. I hate this season.
izzo: (Default)
2012-05-02 10:13 am

(no subject)

Ahh, this is the first time I've actually physically attended my Marketing lecture - I just looked at online lectures until now - and everyone with a computer is on FUCKING FACEBOOK. I really mean everyone. (Except for one dude looking at gifs/memes on imgur) why do people even bother coming and learning if they're going to just socialise online the entire time. I *tried* to revive my account on there to join a group but I lost interest within a day XD Facebook is the same drama filled shit it always was.

 
I had a more serious topic on mind last night, when I couldn't sleep, but I'm not in the mood right now.. so tired and jittery from caffeine right now haha. Speaking of the insomnia... I'm trying out Valerian root, I bought some supps today.. it should ideally help out with the anxiety as well. i really want something with a knockout effect, but not sleeping pills..

EDIT: Well I tried it out last night. Started to feel drowsy about 30 minutes after taking it, so I tried to go to sleep (11pm - 2 hours earlier than my usual bedtime). Wasn't able to fall asleep for perhaps an hour? I was wide awake at 6AM (without tea/coffee). No morning drowsiness. 
Conclusion: it works somewhat. Did not really help with falling asleep (so far), but in spite of the short sleeping time, I was able to wake up alert. It was a big difference from the night before!!

also, I should bring stunfisk with me to snooze with during my power naps at college..he needs a name: FLATzo?
 
 
Also requested some icons from djinni, after a long time of wondering where people were getting those nice watercolour icons. It was a big reminder for me to really DRAW more of my OCs. It's so hard given my current state, but I have to keep trying, at least for the sake of having decent references for people.. :/
izzo: (Default)
2012-03-26 09:13 pm
Entry tags:

(no subject)

 While I'm waiting for some files to be uploaded.. I'll gripe about my life here.  Law school is so, so hard. I don't know why I willingly accepted a life of constant cut-throat competition. it should basically be called "school for future assholes" (I'm already one lolol), though it's probably 10x worse at USYD and UNSW. I'm putting more of an effort on my extracurricular stuff just to take my mind away from all the stress, but I think my commitments there give me even more stress XD Well I do have money at least, though the pull of the material world is strong. Trying so hard to slow down on the pokeymons. I promised once I wouldn't want plush, and then suddenly irresistible customs, muskedeers, minky hoenn starters come out of fuckin nowhere!
Kind of trying (and failing) to control the flea infestation. Do not want this stress ever again. This incident has also made me reconsider ever keeping a pet when I'm independent. Although this particular infestation was due to another person's negligence, not mine, I can see now that with all my other commitments (plus the time I would have to devote to housekeeping, cooking, etc) I would not be able to maintain a healthy animal along with myself. I really envy those people who can coexist and get a lot of love from their pet. But I guess I'm just too self-centered independant.

On top of that, I cleaned and dusted my entire house on the weekend, and now I'm in allergy hell :( So hard to concentrate on studying for 3 exams on friday. 
izzo: (Default)
2012-02-21 01:06 pm
Entry tags:

(no subject)

 My holiday is almost over :( don't wanna go back to school! Computer has been fixed, although the new screen has a single dead pixel in the corner. I can't really be bothered to get another one..it's not that intrusive..and now it is flickering lol. The stomach bug I got from my vacatiion wasn't a bug at all - all my tests came back clear. I did take a PPI which really helped. It was most likely a stress related thing - that trip was really quite a dark period for me for reasons i don;t wish to divulge - happens every holiday season. 

Really need to buy new clothes..haven't bought clothing in about a year now, and I have lost so much weight from the stomach trouble, so my existing clothes don't even fit anymore. On the other hand I should be saving now for at least the house deposit, that is if my father is willing to help me out on that aspect......grrrrrrrrr what stupid individual convinced me it was a good idea to come out to those ignoramuses??
Looking forward to seviper at least :D

Finally got Amy Winehouse's posthumous album...there are some great songs in there, namely the orig. Tears Dry. Not to sound like a massive fanboy, but there is seriously nothing subpar that she has created. all very listenable. I LOATHE mark ronson though, he shits his inflated-ego instrumentals all over her voice.
Oh and RuPaul's coming to syd. a dance party, one night only..which makes me think, it's been so long since I've been doing the clubbing thing. I'm so young and already weary of it..weary speaking to drunk people mostly. Tix are 80$...time to save up!
izzo: (Default)
2011-12-25 03:06 am

(no subject)

Been a while since i updated here, I guess a lot has gone down since. My first year of university is over now and apparently it only gets tougher as the years go by. I'm constantly wondering why i am doing this degree, my interest in law comes and goes i suppose, I feel very inadequate when i am not interested, as there are so many people here that are hell-bent on becoming lawyers and i can't even answer the question of what i want to do for a career?! The answers wavers as much as it did when i was a child. Maybe I could do them all! and die of exhaustion at age 50? Lol

ATM I am at my relatives in Sri Lanka, it's a really long vacation (>month) and since it's a place I have been to one jillion times I am utterly bored here. Unfortunately for me the cousin I am sharing my room with does not say a word to me - no love for people who can't make conversation. I'm restricted in terms of going out as I am not familiar with the local area and then there's issues of safety and all. So yes, housebound and being ignored is not a pleasant way to spend a couple of months, lol. Fortunately though, I managed to get an brief internship at KPMG, which steals away most of my time, plus a month-long gym membership at a hotel just nearby. Got to say, I enjoy working more than studying, the latter of which I have always had difficulty with, regarding concentration.

I am truly homesick nonetheless..I miss certain luxuries and certain people.

Not sure what else to say. internet connection is pretty poor here, i'm using my cousin's dongle..which i don't want to abuse too much so I'm off.
izzo: (RL: Hawksley)
2011-07-01 02:13 am
Entry tags:

1/7/11

Damn, I've forgotten about this blog. Well I might as well get posting now.
It's my break from uni, yet I feel more tired every day than I do during the semester. I'm not pleased with how fast the days and hours go by either, I mean just looking at the time now in the taskbar it's 1:46 AM and already July. All I've done for the past hour (or two?) is listen to EWF live videos and type this entry, I don't feel sleepy at all.

I do plan to post some drawings from time to time, to at least help me get over my phobia of sharing art. Of course, the extent of my drawing have been doodles in oekaki, or on MS Paint, when the internet is crappy. Look out for those!

izzo